whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
