put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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