i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
