the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
