I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
