I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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