? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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