I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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