You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I am available for nakedness
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
