Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
