I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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