K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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