Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
