turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
i think my cat just said my name.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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