She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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