Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
