I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
