she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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