he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
