I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
