3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You pole danced in your parka.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
