Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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