What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
