Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
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