the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
