he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
