You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Randomize
