Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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