It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Let's get the cat blown out
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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