Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize