Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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