Soap is not a condiment
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
