I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
