I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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