i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
