well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
