i think my tv is drunk
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
