garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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