so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
