she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
