please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
