Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
