If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
