Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Welp...herpes.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
