My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
