man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
