so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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