He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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