It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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