I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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