Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
