Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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