i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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